by Kasin Hunter
The dog's name was Damnit. Strange, but it's true,
As true as the story I'm telling to you.
A four-legged adoptee from down by the way,
My neighbor, he gave him to me one fine day.
He says, "Charlie, I've always liked ya, ya know.
Ya helped me in harvest and plowing that snow.
So, I'll give ya this dog in thanks 'fore I leave."
Then he chuckled a bit, wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
"He answers to Damnit," he went on to say.
Then, good neighbor Wilson went on his way.
All well and good; I had plenty of room.
But I found out his meaning, found it real soon.
Ya see, Wilson was partial to jokes all the time.
I think that's why Damnit ended up mine.
No dog was stranger in looks or in name.
He wasn't a collie . . . or shepherd . . . , but tame.
Looks weren't the problem with that feisty dog.
He jest wouldn't listen. Dumb as a frog.
I got so frustrated, I started to shout,
"Now, I know what your name's all about!"
I'd rant and I'd rave. I'd bellow and curse.
But, finally, realized the dog was reversed.
He'd sit 'stead of stand. He'd go 'stead of come.
He'd laugh at the moon and howl at the sun.
He'd sleep all day long, then prowl in the night.
He'd welcome the burglar; the family, he'd fight.
"C'mer, Damnit," I'd holler, cause that was his name;
(But I sure did mean it all just the same.)
"Dern dog just ain't worth the skin that he's in.
Gonna shoot that dern dog." But my wife would just grin.
She knew that I liked him despite all his faults.
Impatience was speaking, not more than insult.
But that mattered little when I would shout,
"C'mer, ya dern dog"; and he'd turn tail about
And skitter as fast as his legs could go.
And I'd end up chasing him down, don't ya know.
Then one day it happened; a light flashed above.
Turned on in my head. Idea fit like a glove.
I'd take care of Damnit, once and fer all.
I'd reverse my commands whenever I'd call.
"Stand up," I told Damnit. He'd sit on the spot!
"Go," I commanded, and he would not.
"Eureka," I shouted with joy and with glee.
"Damnit, that dog, won't listen to me."
Pat only turned in her quiet way,
And looked at me still as a mouse.
Then she said with a smile, "I love you, my dear;
But please don't come swear in the house."
© 1995 Kasin Hunter, All Right Reserved
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